Trump says that climate change is a Chinese “hoax” and that all this global warming talk is the invention of the EU, so that the US will spend millions of dollars to defend against something that doesn’t exist. Trump feels so strong that he has even asked that Universities stop funding research on climate change.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world being hit by hurricanes, heat waves, dramatic thaws, and other natural phenomena like never before in history. But for Trump they are isolated incidents that have no direct relation to climate change.
During his presidential campaign in 2017 he even dared to say that the United States could use a little of "that global warming" to raise some of the US’s frigid winter temperatures. And meanwhile in Cuba, we’re dealing with 38°C (100°F) in December!
How great it would be if Trump left his air conditioned office in the White House to take a tour of Old Havana in August. Then he would know what global warming is! When he gets caught in the hot noon sun, that little yellow cob on his head is going to pop like popcorn.
But we Cubans have been through so much that we couldn’t possibly be scared by a little global warming. We've been on fire for a while. And we have all kinds of solutions for heat ways. Inventions that the rest of the world has never even heard of. Don’t believe us? Here is a list of some of our favorite ways to stay cool:
- Guarapo: Guarapo is the liquid that comes off the sugarcane as they’re pressed through the the grinding machine. Throughout our history, Cubans have drank millions of gallons of guarapo (probably). The slaves who worked in the sugarcane fields even drank it for breakfast (not that they had many options). And you can still find vendors squeezing cane and selling cups of guarapo on the streets of Havana. The only bad thing about the guarapo is that the sugarcane isn’t very clean, and all that dirt falls into the liquid once it is squeezed. But any Cuban worth their guarapo will tell you those are just vitamins and antibodies.
- El frozen: El frozen is a very famous Cuban invention (with a curiously English name). It’s so famous that it could be said to be the first endemic ice cream in Cuba (if you can call ice cream). The frozen is actually an alloy of a few different unknown ingredients, but that doesn’t stop it from being a very effective and economic remedy high heat of Cuba. The main peculiarity of the frozen is its unique flavor, something that distinguishes it from the rest of the world’s ice cream. Nowhere else in will you find a flavor like that, because the Cuban frozen tastes unmistakably cold. And that flavor, whether you like it or not, is a product of Cuba.
- Fans run by the motors of Aurika washing machines: The fan is our favorite and least expensive way to relieve the high summer temperatures. But when our economic situation was most ugly, during the Special Period, Cubans began to manufacture fans with Aurika brand Russian washing machine motors. Those engines were practically immortal, like everything that came from the Soviet Union. And the fans looked terrifying. A real windmill inside a house. Of course, they also had side effects. The washing machine motors were very powerful, making a ton of noise and shaking the whole machine. If you never fixed those vibrations, you could easily wake up with the fan in another part of your house, like it had a mind of its own! To this day many people still hold on to these types of fans, and many Cubans are unable to sleep unless they hear the whir of the blades.
- El durofrío: We have to admit that the name is not very original (literally, “cold hard”), but the durofrío is an authentic piece of genius made in Cuba. You take a bit of soda or juice, put it in a mold, preferably a can of soda cut in half, put in a stick and let it freeze in the refrigerator. Quick to make, easy to handle, and delicious. A triple threat difficult to match.
- El granizado: Although there are different versions of the granizado all over the world (we hear you call them “slushies” in the US?), the Cuban one is unique and incomparable. Our granizado is made with a syrup so powerful that it could easily be used to reinvigorate someone on the verge of feinting. It’s pure sugar–a mixture not suitable for diabetics. The worst part is that, today, a granizado costs more than fruit juice in Havana. Truly incredible.
These five inventions have saved generations and generations of Cubans throughout history. They are an indisputably a part of our national identity, and will continue to be for a long time. At this rate of warming, maybe forever. And that's fine, because they’ve saved us in the past and will continue save us in the future. The planet’s going to keep warming up, and even Trump can’t keep denying it forever.